RATIONAL-EMOTIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (REBT)

One of my all-time favourite therapeutic approaches is Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), developed by Albert Ellis in the 1950s. Why do I love it so much? Because it shines a bright light on the hidden assumptions and beliefs that powerfully shape our emotions and behaviors. REBT helps us see that it’s not the events themselves that cause distress; rather, it’s what we tell ourselves about those events that often leads to anxiety, depression, or self-criticism.

REBT is built around the ABC Model:

• A (Activating Event): Something happens—big or small, external or internal.
• B (Beliefs): You have thoughts and beliefs (rational or irrational) about this event.
• C (Consequences): Your emotions and behaviors flow from those beliefs.

The real magic starts when we introduce D (Disputing)—we challenge and replace unhelpful beliefs with more balanced, realistic alternatives, leading to a healthier E (Effect) on your emotional life.

Albert Ellis had a quirky sense of humour, famously coining the term “musturbation” to describe the rigid “musts,” “shoulds,” and “oughts” we pile onto ourselves and others. These absolute demands can fuel perfectionism, guilt, anger, and a host of other painful emotions. REBT helps you transform these rigid demands into flexible preferences, easing the pressure cooker inside your mind:

• Instead of “I must be perfect or I’ve failed,” we might move to “I’d prefer to do well, but I’m human, and mistakes are part of learning.”
• Instead of “They shouldn’t treat me that way!” we might explore “I wish they would treat me better, but if they don’t, I can still handle it.”

By shifting the language—and underlying belief—REBT empowers you to adapt and respond rather than catastrophize and shut down.

Similarly, REBT tackles how we use “can’t” as a way to limit ourselves or signal low frustration tolerance:

• Perceived Limitations: Often “I can’t” really means “I’m anxious about trying,” or “I don’t want to risk failing.”
• Building Self-Efficacy: By reframing “I can’t handle this” into “I can handle it, though it’s hard,” you open doors to resilience and possibility.

1. Cognitive Restructuring
   Identify irrational beliefs, dispute them, and replace them with more rational, adaptive thoughts.
2. ABC Model
   Break down experiences into A-B-C, then use D (Disputing) and E (New Effect) to reshape emotional outcomes.
3. Disputing Techniques
   Question your beliefs’ validity, explore alternatives, and find evidence that challenges self-defeating thoughts.
4. Emotive Techniques
   Use humour, role-playing, or imagining worst-case scenarios to soften the grip of unhelpful beliefs.
5. Behavioral Techniques
   Engage in new actions that challenge irrational beliefs (e.g., exposure to feared situations, assertiveness training).
6. Homework Assignments
   Practice new skills between sessions, keeping thought journals or testing out new behaviors in real life.

If you’re familiar with my work, you’ll know I draw on a variety of modalities, from Jungian dream analysis to attachment theory and mentalization-based therapy. Why? Because each client is unique, and real transformation often happens when we blend practical, present-focused methods like REBT with the deeper exploration of dreams, childhood dynamics, or interpersonal patterns.

• REBT gives us concrete tools to tackle the here-and-now of your thought patterns.
• Dream Work can reveal hidden emotional or symbolic elements that feed into those beliefs.
• Attachment and mentalization approaches help us see where these beliefs originated and how they affect relationships.

When stitched together, these perspectives create a comprehensive path for lasting change.

You might find REBT especially helpful if you:

• Feel trapped by perfectionism and relentless self-criticism.
• Struggle with anxiety or depression, often triggered by self-defeating thoughts.
• Get stuck in rigid “musts” and “shoulds.”
• Doubt your abilities, frequently saying “I can’t” or “I’ll never…”
• Want a practical, skills-based approach to managing emotions and behaviors.

I bring warmth, creativity, and a slightly eccentric spark to REBT. We’ll look at how these beliefs and patterns took root in your life—possibly from childhood experiences or bigger cultural narratives. We might also explore them through your dreams, or in the light of attachment dynamics, depending on your interest and comfort level. Ultimately, the focus is on finding new, more life-giving ways of thinking and being.

Remember, the aim isn’t to become a perpetual optimist but to think more flexibly, to be kinder to yourself and others, and to handle life’s twists and turns with greater resilience.

If you’re curious about how REBT could help you overcome limiting beliefs, reduce emotional distress, and find a healthier mindset, let’s talk. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or just feel stuck in a loop of self-judgment, REBT can be a strong ally on your healing journey.

Get in touch for a free initial consultation to see if REBT—and my integrative, person-focused style—resonates with you. I’d love to help you discover how your beliefs shape your reality, and how changing those beliefs can open doors to a more meaningful, fulfilling life.